What I’m Here For
Thankfully, we were home yesterday (Friday) so it was a day to recover as Thursday was wicked for Jake. It wasn’t really any different of TCH day… blood work, transfusions, the usual, but he just wasn’t in the frame of mind for it all. First he took a poke to the arm for blood work and it didn’t pull blood right away so our nurse had to wiggle to find the vein – that had him upset. Then when his counts came back low, we had to access through his port. It just didn’t make for a good combination. The morning actually started out well. Big brother, Ryan came to hang out and be with Jake and he was bouncing around, making his Docs smile. They were giggling over zombie brains and meatball sandwiches. But it’s all about mindset and his changed fast as the morning drew on and turned into a very long, emotional, draining day for him. At one point he just passed out on my chest with those unconsious, continuous, muffled, puffy, breaths from crying so hard. When he finally passed out, I was so thankful for his rest and was able to close my eyes and rest too. We actually closed the pl
ace down. Other than one other family who was waiting to be walked over to West Tower 9 for admission, we were it. During our meeting with Dr. Zage and Dr. Foster, we finalized Jake’s newest game plan… to keep his surgery scheduled for February 13th. His counts didn’t move much, in fact his ANC dipped a bit, which is unusual, but they said there is always a margin of error, so to speak, and lots of things can make it yo-yo. Chemo 5 and 6 will be held till after he recovers from surgery. We head back in Monday morning for his CT scan, then for blood work and transfusions. We have a couple of specific prayer reque
sts that we would be so grateful for you to pray over… first and the biggest, please pray that the mass has been responsive to all of the chemotherapy – that it has shrunk and calcified enough that it isn’t terribly veiny and can be easily removed. Second, Jake is really struggling with accesses. His terror leading up to his port access, and the recovery time for him to calm down afterward, is worsening. We will be working with a trauma psychologist soon but until then, we are doing the best we can to keep him controlled and calm so he doesn’t hurt himself or someone else. Sometimes it takes 4-5 of us to handle him, which makes it even worse and more frightening for him. Please pray that Monday morning, we have a calm access to his chest port – no screaming, fighting, throwing up. And last, please pray that he is calm and still for the scan. The plan is NO sedation. It’s a quick scan of about 10 minutes and he can do this. BUT if his access doesn’t go well, calming him down is almost impossible within a reasonable amount of time and they will push to sedate him. We’d prefer to have him awake. As with any sedation, there are always risks and t
he less we have to go this route, the better. We are anxious about this scan and we are anticipating good things. Dr. Foster always makes us feel so encouraged by what she sees with Jake and we are eager to see the images. She will call Monday evening with the results and we will see them later this week when we meet with his surgeon. As for now… we are home for the weekend, it’s beautiful and warm here, and he is running around happy, barefoot, in jammies… as it should be! We’ve played Wii, watched movies and the kids are all outside playing as I sit here and write. The girls are shooting their bows, Jake is on the driveway, Cam on his skate board, Ry – don’t know where he is actually, but he’s around here somewhere, and Meg just dropped by for a minute too. It’s a good day!
Emma wrote a poem for her brother, and she’d like to share….
What I’m Here For by Emma Hickford
Cancer is like a Dancer, it leaves foot prints everywhere. Jake won’t walk the plank, he won’t sit, and watch, and stare. Jake is a little warrior fighting cancer like a pro. Sisters are for hugs and kisses and that’s what I’m here for.
Cancer pounces, you never know when it’s coming. Jake is always playing, jumping, and smiling. He’s innocent like children always are. And sisters are for hugs and kisses and that’s what I’m here for.
Cancer finds a victim just like that dancer rat. Jake is like a nutcracker, because he will fight back. Jake is kind and caring he won’t leave you behind. Sisters are for hugs and kisses and that’s what I’m here for. And that’s what I’m here for.Trackback from your site.
Comments (10)
Shirley Hamilton
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Praising God for the precious love of your family. What great love is shown in that poem. Praying for God’s intervention Monday with all the pokes, sticks and tests, may they somehow become a game, not a stressful, hurtful time. May God give the staff the ability to provide all that is needed with super abilities needed to ensure no pain, wiggling, stress. May God touch you sweet momma, with the peace that passes all understanding, the strength to continue being the bright light to the family and many friends that are crossing your path. To God be the Glory for all the great things He is doing in Jake’s life and in the lifes around you and your blog.
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Gaby
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That poem is so pure and beautiful!!!! It brought tears to my eyes, what a way to express what she thinks. She must be a very smart little girl, God bless her♥♥♥
I’ll be praying for little Jake, and that tomorrow is going to be a great day for you all
♥♥♥
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Lyndi
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Sweet, sweet poem. We are praying continuously for tomorrow. Much love and hugs.
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Lindsey
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Emma and Kate are the sweetest big sisters ever. They are so special. Emma’s poem was amazing and made me tear up. Love you guys and are praying for each of you!!
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Aliceson L.
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The poem brought tears to my eyes. So genuine. Always praying for your family.
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Becah Butler
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Silly me… I meant prayers for you every day.
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Becah Butler
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Prayers fro you every day.
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Angela Dina
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Blessings to you Hickford family this beautiful weekend!! LOVE that poem! We need our girls to meet! Hope to see you Monday as we too have a full day of tests, appts, etc. Much Love!!
Angela Dina
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Tracy
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Always praying!! Emma…I just love your sweet words! Just beautiful inside & out!!!
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Angie Wilgnowski
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That poem is amazing. Just beautiful.
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