{"id":949,"date":"2012-12-15T19:48:23","date_gmt":"2012-12-16T02:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jacobhickford.com\/?p=949"},"modified":"2012-12-16T07:44:16","modified_gmt":"2012-12-16T14:44:16","slug":"friendship-krbe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jacobhickford.com\/?p=949","title":{"rendered":"Friendship & KRBE"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>A little Good News and some\u00a0Not So Good\u00a0News???<\/p>\n

Good news…\u00a0 My\u00a0sweet, cooky, wonderfully fun, and most lovely and gentle hearted\u00a0BFF\u00a0Tracy, wrote the most beautiful letter about my family\u00a0and sent it to\u00a0104 KRBE\u00a0for a\u00a0Christmas Wish radio contest and won!\u00a0 Then they called (first thing in\u00a0the morning) before coffee and read the letter on the air…\u00a0 I was a blubbering\u00a0mess.\u00a0 But how cool is that?\u00a0 $1004 to help with Jake’s medical needs.\u00a0 I can’t help but think of the HEB\u00a0ticket machine where my\u00a0kids get Buddy Bucks that says “winner, winner, winner, winner!”\u00a0 It was such a surprise.\u00a0\u00a0I think some of my homemade scones need to make an appearance on her doorstep for her precious heart and beautiful\u00a0blessing of friendship.\u00a0 I just LOVE her to pieces!!!!!!<\/p>\n

And for the not so good news… It’s Saturday, and we were sent home. \u00a0Jake’s cell counts are not mobilizing and we can’t harvest his stem cells this weekend.\u00a0 We will try one more time on Monday.\u00a0 If his counts are not there, we stop the GCSF\u00a0injections, march on toward our next round of chemo, and start over.\u00a0 That means all of the injections are for not\u00a0and we have to do them all again.\u00a0 They are awful for him, for all of us, so as much as I really don’t like saying this, please pray that his counts are where they need to be.\u00a0 I know this has to be done, but my heart is so fearful and there\u00a0is a big\u00a0piece of me that isn’t ready for this\u00a0leg of the journey.\u00a0 Harvesting his stem cells is the very first step to lead us to\u00a0the hardest and most dangerous part of his treatment.\u00a0\u00a0I\u00a0MUST let go and give it to God.\u00a0\u00a0I know he is Jake’s\u00a0protector, his healer, but I’m his mom, I’m human and selfish, and it is so hard to\u00a0hand him over.\u00a0 When he’s upset, when he’s being poked, when he’s throwing up and sick to the point of exhaustion… he wants his mommy.\u00a0 How do I let go?\u00a0 I really need your prayers over this. Henry and I are both struggling with this stage of the process.\u00a0 I keep thinking of the scripture, “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” – Philippians 2:4<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 I’m really trying to draw on that as a reminder that this isn’t about me being ready, it’s about Jake’s best interests.\u00a0\u00a0If you have anything\u00a0we can use to find\u00a0peace with this, please share.<\/p>\n

And, wouldn’t ya know… the petri dish grew gunk and\u00a0as suspected,\u00a0Jake has RSV.\u00a0 The initial test came back negative but the cultures say otherwise, which is the likely reason the GCSF\u00a0isn’t boosting his counts the way it should.\u00a0 They are fighting the RSV rather than working their magic in his bone marrow.\u00a0 This is actually a little bit of good news because without the\u00a0shots, the RSV may have taken him down hard.\u00a0\u00a0The BMT\u00a0Doc talked of admitting him today and putting him in the RSV tent for the next 5 days but we said no.\u00a0 For now.\u00a0 If it worsens we will reconsider, of course.\u00a0 This could\u00a0present a problem though because the anesthesiologist is\u00a0very uneasy about sedating\u00a0him\u00a0with a respitory illness.\u00a0 So even if his counts improve by Monday, we may not be able to go forward.\u00a0 The endless limbo is so difficult. \u00a0(But he really does look good, and the week has brought improvement with his cough).\u00a0 In fact, yesterday he went outside to play for a few minutes for the first time in a while and we ran an errand while the kids were in school – he was diggin’ the freedom.\u00a0Today they put us in a hospital room without a bed and he thought that was GREAT!\u00a0 So roomy.\u00a0 Roomy enough for Jake to kick around the little blow up ball they gave him from\u00a0the “I\u00a0Got A Poke\u00a0Treasure Chest”.\u00a0\u00a0Sadly, he did get\u00a0poked twice today.\u00a0 One of his veins\u00a0blew during labs draws so they had to go for the other arm.\u00a0 This week has consisted of\u00a04 blood\u00a0draws, 7 shots, 2 port accesses and 2 nasal syringe\u00a0things (those are hateful\u00a0–\u00a0btw). \u00a0His little arms and legs are tracked up and he’s had enough… this has been a week from “poke hell”.\u00a0 But ya know what the most amazing thing is about these kids????\u00a0\u00a0 They just keep pressing on.\u00a0 One minute they are pleading, crying,\u00a0and afraid.\u00a0 The next minute, they turn a corner and are happily telling the nurse that just poked them what their favorite dinosaur or princess\u00a0is.\u00a0 These angles with the title Nurse cans ease them back from hysteria and have them\u00a0deep in conversation\u00a0in no time.\u00a0 And the truly amazing ones capture your heart and that of your child’s. \u00a0There is forgiveness and comfort when\u00a0the day is done, and\u00a0it’s a beautiful thing in the midst of such misery.\u00a0 For\u00a0our nurses that tow the line every single day… my heart loves you for how you love our babies!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A little Good News and some\u00a0Not So Good\u00a0News??? Good news…\u00a0 My\u00a0sweet, cooky, wonderfully fun, and most lovely and gentle hearted\u00a0BFF\u00a0Tracy, wrote the most beautiful letter about my family\u00a0and sent it to\u00a0104 KRBE\u00a0for a\u00a0Christmas Wish radio contest and won!\u00a0 Then they called (first thing in\u00a0the morning) before coffee and read the letter on the air…\u00a0 I … <\/p>\n

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