![\"\"](\"http:\/\/jacobhickford.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/j3.jpg\" "\\"j3\\"")
<\/a>Gazing in the mirror,<\/div>\nThis is the day we’d been waiting for… today all the scans and tests and biopsies\u00a0come together to give us a final reading,\u00a0\u00a0an official diagnosis, and stage Jake’s cancer.\u00a0 Talk about nerves!\u00a0 The whole ride in,\u00a0Henry and I\u00a0probably said two words – just held hands.\u00a0 I found myself on my phone as the texts rolled in… so many sweet\u00a0texts of prayers and love and encouragement.\u00a0 But I was a\u00a0bucket of tears just waiting to spill.\u00a0\u00a0You’ve heard people say “feels like my blood was boiling”…\u00a0 usually that’s said in an angry type of setting.\u00a0\u00a0Not here, it was nerves and anxiety… to me, it felt like my blood was boiling in a way that had me literally shivering like I was cold.\u00a0 Over the past week, we’ve noticed Jake worsening.\u00a0 His fever is now daily and he just doesn’t feel well.\u00a0 His eyes\u00a0are deep-set\u00a0with a purplish color under the eyes and he looks anemic, where he didn’t before.\u00a0 He walks with a limp and moves\u00a0slowly\u00a0– his legs are bothering him a lot.\u00a0\u00a0I\u00a0can’t describe the fear and concern –\u00a0there is just a deep feeling of heartache. As we went to this appointment, Jake was running a low-grade\u00a0fever and\u00a0had no energy.\u00a0 A very different child than the one who walked in here\u00a011 days ago, playful and smiley.\u00a0 I think the doctors were surprised to see him like this.\u00a0 We too\u00a0have been surprised at how drastically his health has changed in just a couple of weeks.\u00a0 We began to talk and they pulled up the images\u00a0\u00a0I’ve said it before, they have been so honest and factual,\u00a0preparing us well each step of the way.\u00a0 We were prepared for the formal diagnosis of Neuroblastoma\u00a0and for the stage to be high.\u00a0 So far the rug has been pulled out each time we meet.\u00a0 First, a tumor in the leg.\u00a0 Then, anomalies in the legs, knee, and pelvis.\u00a0 Then the large mass and liver lesions.\u00a0\u00a0They began, “As we suspected, it is\u00a0Neuroblastoma. It is High Level, Stage 4, Neuroblastoma. It is in his bone marrow.\u00a0 We will\u00a0treat it very aggressively.\u00a0 We have every confidence that we will get him to the other side of this.\u00a0 We will start immediately… tomorrow.”\u00a0\u00a0Just like that.\u00a0 Tomorrow\u00a0we will go in and\u00a0pump drugs that kill into my baby, so we can save his life.\u00a0 How ironic.\u00a0 How terrifying.\u00a0 How did this happen?\u00a0\u00a0This isn’t what we wanted to hear today but there is peace in knowing and going forward. The week spent on edge is over.\u00a0 They will treat him very aggressively, it will be awful, and hard, and long, and we WILL beat it.\u00a0 All of his treatments will be inpatient and multiple day infusions. My dear friend, Paula, reminded me today that “the statistics give you a survival rate…why can’t Jake be part of that %?\u00a0 Someone has to be!”\u00a0 Her words flooded my every thought and got me through the day – and she’s right!\u00a0 So, no time for tears because we have much fighting to do.\u00a0 And so we pick up His sword and His armor for……. the warrior is OUR child!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
THE WARRIOR IS A CHILD Gazing in the mirror, I see a warrior’s face. Fully clothed in armor, No fear and no disgrace. A tear it never offers, A smile it always gives, No sadness does it show, But what a life it lives. Needles going in, As blood is taken out, But still no … <\/p>\n