MIBG – Mission Complete

2013-08-29 22.18.36We sit in the truck on the way back from Cook’s Children’s in sheer relief. We made it!  The week is over and we’re heading home.  It was an eventful week. So much to tell that it may take a couple of blogs.  Walking out of those isolation doors with Jake this morning was THE BEST feeling in the world. I’m guessing that it will be similar to when we finally hear NED.  There is just something about that room that makes you feel as though you are so far away from your child, even though you are right on the other side of the glass. And even when we could go in, it was quick in, do what was only necessary, and GET OUT! There were no kisses or hugs or cuddles.  Jake’s doing GREAT!  Like anything else, every hospital is different from the dressings and tapes, to the policies. Over the past 11 months we’ve become use to the ins-and-outs of our hospital and the array of medical procedures and supplies, so jumping into the care of another team and hospital meant they had to learn about us and we had to adapt to them – quickly. Our second day was spent in the SPA (special procedures area or OR) where all of his lines were placed. We found out quick just how different things were going to be from the moment we started discussing anesthesia and tapes used  – which NONE of them are what we are used to, meaning we wouldn’t know if he would have allergy to them as he does so many. We know w2013-08-28 13.50.04hat to, and NOT to, use at TCH.  We got thru that and used some new things (which by the way we will try to carry some of our own things if we ever have to travel again). The next day we began the infusion and had a fall apart over the sticky heart monitors. We were totally expecting this and as much as we tried to prepare them for what he would experience, they weren’t – to the point of seeing them get squirmy over whether or not he was going to make it thru the trial at all. They started talking of medicating him the entire week and we weren’t going to agree to that. We knew that once we calmed him and got him back to “baseline”, he’d be fine – they had to trust us.  They hesitantly did, thankfully, and the procedure started.  Right before, we looked out into t2013-08-28 15.56.58-2he hall to see a very serious police officer coming down the hall, followed by two white coats pushing a cart with a large metal box, followed by a well-dressed hospital “high up” and some nurses. As the police officer was coming toward us, telling people to please clear the way, I realized he was heading for our room.  It was Jake’s radiation with a full-fledged, official escort.  CRAZY!  I wish I had a picture but frankly, I was stunned and it didn’t register at the time. We were cleared from the room and everything was a go. From the observation window, we watched the dosimeter on the wall register higher and higher and higher.  I must admit, the anxiety was high and the tears flowed just knowing what we were doing to him. I’ve watched History Channel specials on Chernobyl and how radioactive that area is still, the physical ailments that people suffer, and it’s indescribable to know that such an extreme measure is being used to “help” our son… one that may hel2013-08-28 15.14.52p him now, but at what cost we won’t know for years. It truly is about buying time. What we have learned the past few months is that this therapy is not a cure, it’s a stepping stone to get us closer to a place where there may be a cure. With refractory disease like Jake’s, he needs something to jump kick him back into cancer fighting mode – prayerfully, this will be it. But only time will tell and now, we wait… AGAIN!  We did an MIBG scan this morning before leaving so we have a base line of where his disease is with this much radiation in him and we will scan again in 6 weeks to look for improvement. We came home with an 18 point bullet list of Jake’s isolation rules here at home.

 

2013-09-02 09.10.20

To give a few little snippets of the week… At several times the pain for Jake physically or emotionally was really tough and the comfort of Blankedy was really missed.  We are so proud of him for making it through those times. And Blankedy was waiting on the other side of the door the moment he stepped out!  Thank you for your prayers over that, I know that was prayerful intervention right there.  He must be in the midst of a growing spurt because he’s been eating like crazy and the two days before his infusion he ate and ate and didn’t poop like normal. We were worried with this since we knew he’d have a catheter and it might not be easy for him to potty. I tell you this because sure enough, Henry had to go in just two hours after the infusion began to help clean up so his meter was beeping like crazy while he was in there. He came out like a kid on major candy crack overload. He was such a spaz and freaking out about all the beeps he added to his dosimeter and had me rolling.  It is a nerve-racking experience to hear the beeps and know that with each one, we are 2013-08-29 10.44.50-1closer to “our mark” of limitation for radiation contamination.  One of the side effects of the treatment is the accumulation of radiation in the thyroid, so there is medication. But there is such an initial jolt of radiation that the meds aren’t able to diffuse it all so Jake’s little face/neck swelled up by the first night. It’s now gone down but it was very uncomfortable for him. Throughout the week, Jake was happy and cooperative – he had a Star Wars gun in there to keep him entertained and he liked to shoot our Radiology Doc when he’d come in for radiation measurements.  Doc would go about his business and then zap Jake with his own special gun. Jake thought that was the funniest thing to set off Dr. Miguel’s radiation gun with his own body. One of his IV’s blew right out of the gate and the second one blew shortly after all the radiation was infused (but it held out long enough).  So his third and final line, his chest port saved the week. A lot of the kids wear a gown and no undies all week because of the foley but Jake is a kid that wants undies. SO, we had to be creative and cut up one side of the leg and sew velcro to get them on/off the leg (the catheter line is attached to the 2013-08-31 22.38.11wall haz/waste system instead of a traditional bag so this was our special “invention”). Hey, maybe it’s a MILLION DOLLAR idea for the medical supply market!  He was happy with it, so problem solved.   We’ve noticed that Jake is limping, much like before his diagnosis. We’re guessing that since there is still a good amount of disease in that area, the radiation has settled heavily there and taking effect, hopefully. Everyone was super helpful and kind, and in the midst of our pre-start tears, Dr. Granger prayed with us as they started Jake’s infusion. God showed himself in the BIG, and the little things, all week long and we excitedly walked out of those doors this morning with one more treatment behind us.  For that we give GOD ALL THE GLORY!  Now, we wait. Jake’s counts will fall again, just like chemo, and as always, we will weather the ups and downs of platelets/ANC/hemoglobin, transfusions, isolation, long days at TCH and semi-routine, back-to-school activities.  Be on the look-out… we have a special slide show coming soon!  2013-09-02 12.00.02It’s Jake’s fave song right now and I have to add, he was singing it all week long.  The nurses would watch him on the monitor and crack up when they’d check on him. He takes after me and sings what he hears, or thinks he hears. Half the words are wrong but just keeps on singing with all his might;  not even embarrassed since our words are usually better anyway (wink & a grin). Our hearts are full and we thank you for the prayers, texts, meals and help with our children while we were away.  We left Cook’s feeling lighter, lifted, full of hope! For the first time in a while, we feel there is something brewing, good and strong, that healing is happening, and God is working in Jake’s little body; there will be a day that we walk out of those doors cancer-free.… and what a day that will be!  We have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe. 1 Timothy 4:10        It’s a Glorious Day… Casting Crowns sings it best!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqrqPGt11bA

Delivered and Forever Remembered

2013-05-28 11.11.03-1Another week of chemotherapy has come and gone. I intended to write while inpatient but as well as the week went for Jake, my mind just wasn’t ready to sit and process. Two posts ago, I asked for prayer for our friend, Roderick. Since then, he has flown home to Jesus. There is no more pain or treatments or unknowns for him. He is free. But while I sat in a hospital room with tubes of chemotherapy dripping into my son’s chest, my mind kept circling to Brandy and Roderick Sr. and their heartbreak. As children of God, we know that in death there is great celebration, freedom from pain and sorrow. But those left behind still hurt. Roderick was one of Jake’s first friends on this journey. We first met him on the 9th floor. Jake was in for chemo and we were in the playroom. In comes this bouncy, bald, smiling kid in a purple LSU shirt. He sat down next to Jake and said I’m really good at Wii too, can I play? He helped Jake through levels and just sat with him, talking Mario lingo and being a kid. We were still new to this world and it made my heart so happy to see such child-like normalcy. Just two little boys playing Wii. In many ways, that was “a moment” for me as a cancer kid’s mom that things would never be the same, but they would be OK. I have told Jake that Roderick is in Heaven now and it has spurred questions and conversation. His innocent, little-boy self is

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sad and even this morning he asked if Roderick2013-05-04 11.07.27b gets to eat pancakes in heaven. While in clinic yesterday, Jake asked, “so Roderick won’t be here anymore, either?” He’s searching for what it means to be in Heaven and he’s asked why Mr. C won. While I have answers for many of his questions, I don’t have an answer for that one. Roderick will forever be a hero in my heart for giving Jake a friend and showing this mom that cancer doesn’t defeat our kids, it slows them down, it wears them out, but their spirits are so much stronger than this horrible disease. They continue on… whether it’s here or in Heaven. “Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.” 2 Tim 4:18

 

SQUIRREL

I sucrolose2come to you with a special prayer request for Katie Wagner. I’d be so happy for you to cover her in prayer and show her some love on her FB page at Wagner Family Support.  Katie is 17 and is fighting Rhabdomyosarcoma. She was actually in remission but last month her cancer returned.  She begins the fight again.  This makes me sad.  Do you know that most childhood cancer survivors will never really be survivors? Unfortunately, the drugs that are used to heal, don’t.  Many of these kids will go into short-term remission only to have their cancer return or new ones hit them as hard or harder because the drugs being used are so toxic.  The “survival” rate is a 5 year rate.  Most of these kids will develop a repeat of their original cancer or a different, secondary cancer within that time period, which makes every scan a jumbled mess of nerves and unknowns. There are 13,500 new pediatric cancer cases a year which is not seen as an “epidemic” by our government. (That number is new cases – doesn’t include relapse cases – so that number isn’t truly accurate for them to base their reasoning).  And although they say otherwise, the American Cancer Society is not interested in funding better treatments and safer, less toxic drugs for childhood cancer.   I know this is repeat information but it bears repeating… the ACS only gives 4% a year to pediatric cancer.  They give NOTHING to Neuroblastoma… ZERO!  (If you ever want to give to pediatric cancer, the ACS is not your place, find a foundation that truly funds childhood cancer research.)  The drugs being used on our kids are archaic!  They were developed 30-40 years ago but it’s all we have!  BUT things are going to change soon.  Within the next 10-15 years, childhood cancer will become an “epidemic” as far as our government’s standards. But we won’t have kept up and there will be such loss, more than we see even now. And those of you that know me well can all yell “SQUIRREL!”  I’m heading off on a tangent now that is unrelated to Katie or Jake or most current kid cancer patients.  Here goes…  Sucralose!  It’s in EVERYTHING!  IT”S HORRIBLE!  Most of the cancers that effect our children are absolute random mutation.  There is no rhyme or reason.  But that’s going to change.  Very soon, you are going to see more and more childhood cancer cases that can be traced.  Finally, it will be called an epidemic.  But it will be differ2013-06-02 13.23.59ent than our current cancers because like many of the adult cancers, it will be based on toxin build up.  Sucralose is in EVERYTHING our kids are ingesting.  You have to look hard to find things WITHOUT it.  It’s in your kid’s drinks, fruit snacks, yogurt, milk products, cereals, breads, cookies, sodas, everything. Real sugar is OK, our body metoabolizes it.  It’s not bad, yet it’s being replaced by this chemical that hasn’t even been studied in humans long enough to know it’s effects. I’m harping on this because it truly is in EVERYTHING!  I ask you to spend a little time researching it and come up with your own conclusions. I find it to be a very scary product. It’s just a matter of time until we know exactly what the body does with it, but sadly, the damage will be done.  I don’t usually use this blog to rant but this is something that I truly believe is a future monster in the making… one that can be easily thwarted. To give you an idea… the other day Henry went shopping with me. Everything that he put in the cart for Jake to try and put some meat on his bones had SUCRALOSE.  All of it.  He didn’t believe me at first so he started reading the labels too.  Surprise!  He got a real quick education.  READ LABELS!  Don’t buy it! It’s not worth the chance. What Jake faces everyday should not be experienced by any other child. Knowing there will be children that will one day have cancer by something other than an unlucky, statistically, random mutation makes me sad and SO ANGRY.

2013-05-19 16.44.13OK, rant over!  On a sidenote… Jake woke up at 3AM throwing up like crazy.  No fever but very weepy and off today.  We head into TCH tomorrow.  We’re scheduled to head in for six days of chemotherapy if he makes counts. Last Thursday his ANC and hemoglobin were ready for chemo but his platelets were still low.  He needs to be at 75K to hook up and he was only at 36K. We’ll know manana. In the meantime, I’m packing to be gone for the week even though I have a feeling we’ll come home tomorrow and have to try again later in the week. He’s had a good, happy week with swimming and playing.  Oh, he’s also still harboring that cough from December.  It’s never really gone away but it comes and goes in it’s severity.  Thurday there was a little noise in the lower lobes of his lungs again so we’ll be watching that Monday.  If it’s still there or worse, we’ll have to do a chest scan before entering chemo.  For now, he’s cuddled up with his blankie on the sofa watching Wreck It Ralph.  Back to my moment of squirrel… thank you for humoring me and reading this, I hope the information is helpful in some way and doesn’t discourage you from coming back!  Have a blessed Sunday!