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Another week of chemotherapy has come and gone. I intended to write while inpatient but as well as the week went for Jake, my mind just wasn’t ready to sit and process. Two posts ago, I asked for prayer for our friend, Roderick. Since then, he has flown home to Jesus. There is no more pain or treatments or unknowns for him. He is free. But while I sat in a hospital room with tubes of chemotherapy dripping into my son’s chest, my mind kept circling to Brandy and Roderick Sr. and their heartbreak. As children of God, we know that in death there is great celebration, freedom from pain and sorrow. But those left behind still hurt. Roderick was one of Jake’s first friends on this journey. We first met him on the 9th floor. Jake was in for chemo and we were in the playroom. In comes this bouncy, bald, smiling kid in a purple LSU shirt. He sat down next to Jake and said I’m really good at Wii too, can I play? He helped Jake through levels and just sat with him, talking Mario lingo and being a kid. We were still new to this world and it made my heart so happy to see such child-like normalcy. Just two little boys playing Wii. In many ways, that was “a moment” for me as a cancer kid’s mom that things would never be the same, but they would be OK. I have told Jake that Roderick is in Heaven now and it has spurred questions and conversation. His innocent, little-boy self is

sad and even this morning he asked if Roderick gets to eat pancakes in heaven. While in clinic yesterday, Jake asked, “so Roderick won’t be here anymore, either?” He’s searching for what it means to be in Heaven and he’s asked why Mr. C won. While I have answers for many of his questions, I don’t have an answer for that one. Roderick will forever be a hero in my heart for giving Jake a friend and showing this mom that cancer doesn’t defeat our kids, it slows them down, it wears them out, but their spirits are so much stronger than this horrible disease. They continue on… whether it’s here or in Heaven. “Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.” 2 Tim 4:18

Rather than heading in for chemo on Thursday, we were able to load up and head for the beach.  It was perfect and we felt like we needed to pull the family close and disappear.  This next stage of treatment is going to be so intense and Jake and I will spend the next couple of months away so much of that time that we figured this would be our only opportunity to spend some time together with all of us in one place.  The weather was a bit chilly but the kids were able to body surf, and shell hunt, ride scooters and skateboards, and just be on the beach and play. Jake found a BIG bazooka water gun that was as big as him and he carried that around for a good part of a day.  He didn’t get in the water like the big kids but he rode his scooter, and giggled at Gunner chasing every bird that would tease him, and took a lot of walks with me. And we were ON the beach… the sound of the waves and the beach fun was just what we needed.  The dog was quite the entertainment for all of us as he was in doggie heaven and can hardly move today, he’s so worn out.  For those of you who know him, that’s saying A LOT.  He’s a year old German Shorthair Pointer and his energy is endless… until now.  We found that he is as much of a beach lover as us.  He’d run in and out of the water and swim into the waves to surf with the kids.  The “long weekend” did us good and now we can face the next few months a little lighter.  I think the past few weeks had us all dragging. We’re now scheduled for chemo this Thursday and Jake’s birthday is May 2nd so we should get out a couple of days before his special day to be home just in time to celebrate.  We just need prayers that we STAY HOME!  I’ve mentioned this before, this is the combination of drugs that send us back for a good long stay with neutrapenic fever and once we are admitted we can’t go home until his counts rise, which tends to drag.  This time we’ve been cautioned that because of the c-diff he picked up with his surgery a couple of weeks ago, it is highly likely that   it could recur, which would lengthen his stay. They will give him antibiotics with this round to combat the mouth sores and that could be the golden ticket to bring it back.  IF it doesn’t, and he ends up back in the hospital for the fever, they have no choice to give him really strong antibiotics and that will most certainly bring it on.  The antibiotics change the flora in his gut which invites the c-diff for a return visit.  BIG sigh!  Sweet boy just may not be able to outrun it.  If by some miracle he doesn’t get it this time, they said it’s certain to recur during stem cell transplant.  They (BMT) called today, by the way, and I will meet with them Friday while we are inpatient.  It’s time to begin getting everything in order.  She mentioned another hearing test, a lot of blood work, liver test (or kideney ??) and an echogram.  We hope to get most of this done while he’s “on the pole” this stay.  So that’s the lowdown for now. It really wasn’t ever part of the plan to head out for a family vacay in April or right before STAAR testing, or right after Jake’s surgery but as we’ve learned, plans change… constantly!  Another reminder of how little control we have… it’s all written, we’re just following God’s plan and this was another little God wink for us… It was really, really, REALLY good to get away and we weren’t quite ready to come home… as they say, “life’s a beach”… definitely a little piece of heaven on earth for sure… at least it was for the weekend!