Author: Mardon Hickford

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Emma Stays The Night!

Emma wanted to write today’s post. Her words, her heart… sweet Emmy. Me and my family missed school today to see Jacob in the hospital and to meet with Ms. SaraBen our Child Life Counselor. It was cool to talk to Ms. SaraBen. She talked to us about Jake and cells and his cancer and we took a tour of the hospital and got to see all the fun stuff here for patients and their sisters and brothers. I want to go sing at Radio Lolipop. It’s a music studio where you can preform and tape music that plays on the hospital TV station. I’ll bring my guitar and record a song for my baby brother. My family and I miss Jake and so sooooooo much we have only seen him twice in three weeks. Jake and I played Dinosaur games. Later he found out that we all were leaving “Nooooo Emma!!” he cried sadly, while stretching an arm out to me as if I was leaving forever. It was horrible to see our little angel so sad. My dad said “Okay, Jake, Emma can stay if you want.” Then I saw in his eyes something I rarely saw, yes it was him being so excited for the first time since he had done his chemo treatment. So there it was, Jake, Mom, and I all sleeping over at the Hospital. As we were playing the Dinosaur Puzzle, Mom went downstairs to get Chick Fil A and when she came back, me and Jake were still playing the dinosaur game with his little toy dinosaurs. The part that made me happy was to see him with a bright smile on his face, and his eyes so beautifully blue. With his new haircut he looks like an angel with some of the tiny daredevil in him and it made me so proud. We started watching an episode of Monster High and I just noticed OH MY GOSH he was eating

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and not just a tiny nibble he was eating little chunks and peices of the chicken nuggets Mom tore up for him and soon he started to eat french fries. My heart felt like it was going to explode, because I was so happy we were having so much fun and he was smiling. He was a little angel of surprise and he is so handsome with that new little adorable mohawk. Later we saw the lalaloopsee ad and we looked at each other at the same time with the same horrified look on our faces. We also took a little walk through the hall with Jacob. Mom said it is the first walk Jake had in 12 days. I got to do it with him! We put on our shoes and I noticed hey Jake was wearing his new dinosaur sneakers that Mrs. Jeanne gave him. He wasn’t in the wagon though he was actually walking. For the first time I actually saw him walking and I was so happy. I told myself “What a day God has blessed us and will heal our little boy, Jacob.” As I wait for sleep I concentrate on how God has blessed our

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family and how Jake is blessed to be healing from the Cancer he has, even though he has a year or so of more treatments. I know he will heal. (Emma is one of Jake’s 10 year old twin sisters.)

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Reddi Whip

The day didn’t start well… we had a very big outburst.  Jake has HAD IT!  Every person that walks in wants him to open his mouth.. it’s sore, it’s inflamed, he can barely talk, the ulcers are going down his throat, moving the tongue to say “ahh” is torture.  He went off!  On one of the Docs (the one he’s not particularly fond of) and on me.  For a little guy who feels so bad, has NO energy, and is in starvation mode (with a body that shows it), he came out swinging!  Slapping, scratching, kicking, spitting, screaming… I’ve never seen our son act this way.  He’s been angry from time to time but he was looking to do damage.  She didn’t know what to do. I told her that he was done and she agreed. He was so upset with me, saying that I need to help him, pleading with me not to let them touch him anymore.  I understand, I’m his protector and I haven’t been that lately.  In his eyes, I am enabling them to do these hurtful things to him.  It was a moment for both of us and then he crawled in my lap and slept for three hours. I didn’t move, just held him, he was worn out.  The GOOD NEWS…  he woke in a much better mood. We did a puzzle on his bed and opened some gifts that he hasn’t had the energy to open.  (Thank you to Henry’s soccer family!!! So many thoughtful, wonderful things!) I got a little smile through his mouth pain… oh my heart. 🙂  It was a good night… and even better… he ATE!  Reddi Whip!  I know, it isn’t much and it isn’t healthy but that’s what he wanted, it didn’t burn, and I’m a happy momma!  It’s a step in the right direction and if he’ll eat Reddi Whip tonight, then who knows what tomorrow will bring… maybe yogurt!  I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.  Jeremiah 31:25

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Baby Steps

Jake is sitting up!  He’s been down and out, flat on his back, curled in fetal for days.  But today he was sitting up watching movies with Daddy.  He’s weak and he’s not eating or drinking but he’s up.  We gave him a trim and it’s not pretty!  He sat in my lap and we started cutting.  His hair was shedding all over and it was getting in his mouth, down his shirt, itching everywhere and there were some patchy, balding, rubbed off spots, so we needed to clean him up a bit.  He has been really upset with the thought of cutting his hair but the messiness and aggrevation turned to him being OK with getting it out of his way.  A friend told me that would happen.  I’m glad I didn’t push too early, with all of the decisions that have been taken from him, he was able to make this one.  I will say, his hair masked his sickness in many ways.  Now you see his beautiful eyes and they tell the tale of the past two weeks.  You see his small frame and how much smailler he’s become.  Our prayer this week is for the mouth and throat ulcers to heal so he will eat.  There is word that we may go home in a few days with an IV.  That is scary but he needs nutrition.  And at this point, we’ll take it…it’s all about baby steps and we want him home!